H.A.L.T. and Practice Self-care
When supporting someone living with a neurocognitive disorder such as dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, identifying your needs and achieving a balance in how to meet those needs is a big step in practicing self-care. Learning how to ask for help is a sign of strength and courage, not defeat. When you become more aware of your own needs that are not being met and are able to attach words to the feelings, such as sadness, loneliness, resentment, or simply feeling overwhelmed, you can begin to make sense of your emotions and meet your own unmet needs more easily.
A very simple technique I started practicing in the early 1980’s to stay in check with my needs and emotions while working as a therapist in addiction and mental health is H.A.L.T. By pausing and quickly asking myself and question if I am Hungry, Lonely, Angry, or Tired? This helps to identify what is causing an unhelpful reaction or response. Taking a moment and a deep breath to H.A.L.T. may avoid a conflict the next time you feel a shift in your mood or emotion.
Identifying emotional cues can have a great impact on your health. Eating three meals a day with healthy snacks will keep you satisfied and feed your brain so you have the energy to provide optimal care. Anger is normal and healthy, but understanding what you are actually angry about is key. Are you angry with your loved ones constant questions, or really angry you have don’t have the support you need? Understanding and expressing your anger in constructive ways does take practice.
Social isolation for both the individual living with dementia and the persons that support them can increase cognitive decline. If you are feeling lonely, have you reached out to anyone lately? Developing a support system is important staying connected and engaged with others. Lastly, feeling chronically tired can effect your mind, body, and spirit. Being tired can also affect your judgement, reaction time and makes decision making a challenge. Medication mistakes, falls, and conflicts are more likely to occur when you are tired.
This is also a quick and easy want to check in with your family member as well if your loved-one’s mood suddenly takes a shift. Is it around lunch time and the person is pacing and looking for something and may be trying to let you know they are hungry? Do they express that need with anger? Did they miss a morning nap due to a busy morning and the person is tired? Or is the person feeling lonely and socially isolated? Keep your family engaged with others is so important to honor their personhood and promote well-being.
So take time everyday to check in with yourself and assess how you are feeling. It only takes a minute or two.