Person or Patient?
Our perceptions of people with dementia matter. I recently saw a post on my neighborhood app by someone referring to his neighbor as a “dementia patient.” In the context of a physician, the person is a “patient,” but to everyone else, the person is a person. Family members will refer to their loved one as a “patient,” reinforcing their belief the person is sick rather than living with a disability.
The person living with dementia remains your friend or family member even if the person transitions into assisted living or another community and is only a patient to the doctor or nurses. That imbalance of power is more prevalent when a friend or family sees their loved one as a “patient” rather than humanizing the person as a spouse, parent, or friend and creates the mindset of “caregiving” and doing for the person rather than with the person. The person is a person, not a patient, when you are a friend or family member.
To help break the stigma of any disability, I will take advantage of an opportunity for a “teachable moments.” I typical don’t engage to start controversy on-line but this seemed like a teachable moment about the perceptions of people with dementia. I politely commented to give insight to the perception, and his response was an emphatic, “I don’t care.” I let that one go.
Close-minded people, such as this man, don’t want their beliefs challenged and are unwilling to consider other viewpoints regardless of evidence the information is accurate. When it comes to changing the beliefs and a preconceived bias regarding an issue, open minded people tend to believe their belief may be wrong and will ask questions rather than making statements to support their belief. This is why it is so important for all of us to educate, advocate and encourage others to see people living with dementia as a person; a mother, grandmother, uncle, brother, or a father with feelings and not as a patient.
If you would like more information about our Memory Ministry, our Memory Cafe or Family and Friends Workshops, please contact Vicky at vpitner@firstumc.org